Parenting Advice: The Key to Solving Society's Woes! By: Dr. Noel Swanson
Parents don't get an operators manual along with their new baby. Which is tragic, really, since they are probably the most complex and difficult items that we ever need to manage. Even more tragic when you realize that parenting is the single most important job in the world - the fate of entire communities, nations and continents depends on the quality of parenting that the children receive. By definition, most parents are "average" and their children grow up to lead "average" lives. They find, and keep, a job, find a loving partner, and do a reasonable job of raising the children. But in an increasingly complex society, is that good enough? First, if average is average, then half the population are below average. We see the results of that all around us - crime, poverty, prostitution, homelessness, child abuse and so on. And we see the cycles of depravation repeated from one generation to the next. As ineffectual parents pass on their lack of skills to their children. But suppose we could rase that level of "average"? Suppose we could give all this new generation some new skills so that when they become parents they have something better to pass on to the next generation? Wouldn't that result in a better outcome for ALL of us? Second, in a multi-cultural, complex society we need ever better leaders. Men and women who are "whole" - not bogged down by insecurities, hurts and fears that result in corruption, hidden agendas and selfish ambition. We need leaders, in all areas of society, not just politics, who have a capacity for love, generosity, compassion and tolerance. From where do such qualities come? From growing up in secure, loving, and confident families, that's where. Third, look to your own family. Look at how you were raised. Most likely your parents did the best they could, yet I am sure you can see areas in which they failed - with resulting hurts and insecurities that have bogged you down for your entire life. You don't want to pass that on to your children, but are you really any better informed about the process of bringing up children than your parents were? How can you teach and guide your children when all you have is your parent's example to guide you? Unless we take deliberate steps to improve our knowledge and understanding, all we can do is operate out of ignorance and guesswork. Is that good enough for your children and their children? Perhaps it was "good enough" for you as a child, but was it the best it could have been? Yet the whole notion of learning to parent seems anathema. We won't let people operate a car, a gun, a boat, a scalpel, even an electric saw without proper training - but we are quite happy to let them operate a child for 18 years with no training whatsoever! Is this some kind of collective madness? We don't say, "let everyone drive a car without a license, but then if they have an accident we will require them to get some training". But that is exactly what we say when it comes to having children! In most people's mind, parenting classes are only for "welfare cases". Isn't that just shear madness? In every other area of life we pay good money and invest many hours of time to get the training we need to learn new skills. Yet when it comes to raising our own children, we think we can just make it up as we go along? Isn't it time we moved on from that? Isn't it time that the normal expectation would be that people take parenting training at various points along the journey, just as the normal expectation, now, is that expectant mothers take ante-natal classes? Isn't it time that this changed? Isn't it time that we made a more deliberate, and systematic, effort to better equip parents with the parenting skills and advice they need? So what about yourself? How much effort have you made to learn about child development or the right way to inspire and motivate your own children to greatness? Do you know the right and wrong way to use punishments and rewards? How to correctly teach responsibility? Wouldn't it be worth the investment of a few dollars and a few hours to get some new insights into this? And what are your children learning? How will they learn about child development, the formation of character, and the instillation of morals? The right, and wrong, way to use punishments and rewards so as to help, and not harm, their own children? It seems to me that something that crucial for the success of individuals and of society should be systematically taught in school, right alongside the other essentials for life, such as reading, writing and math. So, when you are next watching some horrific human tragedy - a murder, rape, or suicide - unfold on the news, ask yourself, "could we have prevented this by giving that person's parents and grandparents better parenting skills, advice, and guidance?". Then go and get yourself a parenting book. Read it. Discuss it with your friends. You might be amazed at what you discover!
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Dr. Noel Swanson's website provides free expert www.good-child-guide.com/parenting/”>parenting help - you will also find a free chapter to his highly acclaimed book, the GOOD CHILD Guide. Why not discuss parenting issues with other parents on a www.yesparenting.com/forum/”>parenting forum? Visit our parenting article directory for a completely unique version of this article.
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