Consequences of Divorce for Men
By: James Walsh

A woman is incomplete without having children. For her, motherhood is an essential experience of life. Marriage gives them a respectable way to have children who have full legal rights as inheritors of property. Women get a sense of security and protection from the relationship. Indeed, spinsters are actually looked upon as somewhat abnormal.

Men have different needs from the marriage. They fall in love with a woman and want to marry her to secure their relationship with her so that she is not available to any other man. Just like women have an urge to be loved by a man, men too have a natural urge to love a woman and be the father of her children. This is what mostly drives men to marriage. Men are vulnerable too to emotional insecurity (though they may not show it publicly) and it is amazing what kind of support a woman can offer him to face the various challenges of life.

For many, the marriage is the beginning of a joyous and very fulfilling period in life. Indeed, millions of couples stay married life-long and are life partners in the true sense of the term. However, there are marriages where the relationship just doesn’t work out. In these cases, divorce and separation are usually the result.

Men and women react differently to divorce. Women are emotionally and financially more vulnerable. They miss the security in life that the marriage provides. Men too are affected badly by divorce (if their wife files for it). Their lifestyle changes totally after separation.

They have to move out of the family house, if it belonged to their spouse. This is basically nothing but their uprooting from a location they have got so used to over the years. The new accommodation will cost money and may exist in a distant area, thus increasing commuting cost to their office. Once men move out to a new home or if they had their own home and are left alone after their partner leaves with the children, the initial months are quite lonely for them.

No longer can they expect to come home and find children running into their welcoming arms. Neither is the food cooked, nor is their laundry done by someone else. There is no one to take care of the house. They have to get used to living like a bachelor all over again.

Divorce has tremendous financial implications for men too. Husbands are usually the main earners in a family, while women often leave their jobs and stay at home full-time to take care of the kids. It is actually the responsibility of men to earn money and collect family assets so that they all live in comfort. When divorce happens, a very contentious issue that has to be solved is division of family property.

Men are usually the losers in this as the courts have a subtle bias in favour of wives – more so if they have children – and they often overcompensate by awarding a handsome share of the family property to them. In giving this verdict, the judges also take into account the fact that while the husband was daily away at office earning money, the woman had to sacrifice her career and be home-bound for many years to take care of children.

Divorce has emotional consequences for men too. The popular belief is that men are emotionally quite strong and their high testosterone level sees them through many emotional hiccups and stressful situations. This is actually not true in most cases. Men have as part of their natural evolution learnt not to show their emotions, fears and insecurities in front of others. There is a reason for this.

Their wife and children depend on them for meeting their basic needs and look up to them for support and protection. If they see their husband or father insecure or troubled, they panic because he is their first and last line of defence against the big bad world. Men, therefore, try to remain stoic when faced with adversities and do not tend to show their emotions much.

Personalities of men differ from individual to individual. While some may be tough like super-heroes, most are just ordinary people who feel the same emotional trauma and stress like women do. Some show their inner feelings, most do not. Many men are attached to their children. When their wives get child custody, the men become totally distraught and have to reconcile to meeting them once a week. It is really a myth that men have it easy in a divorce and it is only women who suffer.

Article Source: http://www.ArticleJoe.com

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie www.quickie-divorce.com“>Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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